LAW & ORDER IS BEING SOOOO IGNORANT RIGHT NOW AND I CAN'T HANDLE IT.

I'M GO'INNA MY ROOM.
This just in from Generally known all over the crafting world:

BUTTONHOLES ARE SHITTY, MALICIOUS, SONS OF BITCHES.

This news is causing continues to cause loud and frequent bouts of profanity all across the globe, particularly in my kitchen.
BECAUSE I AM MAD AT MY DICKFACE OF A MANAGER.

WHAT'S THAT, LIVEJOURNAL? YOU THINK I'M NOT HANDLING MY EMOTIONS IN A HEALTHY WAY?

WELL SHUT UP.
Dear World of Plus-Sized Fashion, )
Internet! I have an announcement!

Genderswap fic is hard! )

Also, I do have something for you from Wincon:


An illustration I drew during the Supernatural Happyfuntime Hour re: the relationship between Kripke and fangirls. Joss Whedon also does this.
Dear gods, what the hell happened to my internet life? I miss this. I was hoping the twitposting would get me back on track, but... Damn. I'm gonna be better at this. I'm gonna post and comment like a real person, for serious.

Whiny tidbit of the day: I have a particular acquaintance. This person is often very judgmental about things they know nothing about, but usually I just ignore it because I don't like to make waves. Also this person hates glitter and rhinestones and sparkly things, and will judge you for wearing or liking them. This time the topic at hand was one I am very familiar with; I've both studied and experienced it, so I spoke up. This person dismissed me and continued to pass judgment on a situation they have not experienced and about which they are not educated or knowledgeable. And they didn't know any of the people involved. That put me at something of a loss, so I changed the subject. Then when I got home, I did my nails like this,* just for spite.



It is my "no, fuck YOU" manicure. As the Lady says, sequins are much more fun than bombs.

Also, this is kinda making me feel better:



Good night, lovies. :)



*Not my pic or nails, got it off fuckyeahnailart
Buffy the Vampire Slayer is (for me) the kind of escapism that makes the real world harder to deal with, not easier. If netflix had any kind of conscience it would have cut me off, like, 8 episodes back.


Also:

Dear The Other Guys,
          Fuck you. A car that came with dental dams would be awesome.
DID I JUST READ 33 GODDAMN CHAPTERS OF A MOTHERFUCKING WORK IN PROGRESS THAT HASN'T BEEN UPDATED SINCE LAST FUCKING YEAR!?!

YES I FUCKING DID.

LABEL THESE THINGS, PEOPLE.
No matter how many of you geese keep insisting to me that this Twilight [movie] is feminist, I will not believe you.
Matthew Gray Gubler said the word "theater" with a long a, causing 98% of my previously intense attraction to him to fuck off out the window.* Truly, I now have no reason to continue watching this show.

But I probably will. I think they put cocaine in it or something.




*SRSLY U GUISE. SHORT A. I hear this probably much more than those of you who don't work in a thee-UH-ter, and every time I hear it I WANT TO KILL MYSELF. I don't care what Merriam Webster has to say on the subject, no one should EVER pronounce theater with a long a. ESPECIALLY NOT YOU, MGG. You are a very attractive young man from Nevada, not a 65-year-old woman from Arkansas.

IMHO

Sep. 11th, 2009 08:57 pm
My dad bought me an ipod touch for my birthday, and I have to say, I don't know where the fuck all this Apple brand loyalty comes from. The device itself is very nice, but I don't think I've ever dealt with a shadier company. The only one that comes close to Apple's level of dishonesty is HP, and at least HP had the grace to play their treachery as ineptitude.
I want to blog in support of the Iranian people, but the only things I can think to say are either idiotically obvious (example: Omg, this is a fucking atrocity!) or fantastically inappropriate. (example: THIS PICTURE IS FUCKING BADASS. THE WOMEN ARE COMING TO SMACK YOUR FACE UP, BASIJI.) I'm just going to try to keep up on things and go to the protests if I can.
Amazon Rank
I DON'T LIKE FACEBOOK, IT'S PUTTING TOO MUCH PRESSURE ON MEEEEE. WTF EVER HAPPENED TO INTERNET ANONYMITY?
THIS IS FREAKING ME THE FUCKING SHIT OUT. I'M SO FUCKING NERVOUS, NEVERMIND WHETHER OR NOT THIS IS OPTIONAL. I DON'T WANT TO BE IN THE BACKGROUND, I DON'T WANT MY VOICE RECORDED, I DON'T WANT ANYONE TO FUCKING TALK ABOUT ME TO THIS INTERLOPING FUCKER. WTF WINCON?!? I AM NOT GOING TO BALTIMORE TO BE GAWKED AT. I DON'T CARE IF THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A "POSITIVE" DOCUMENTARY, BEING FILMED BY SOME STRANGER AND THEN DISTRIBUTED TO A BUNCH OF STRANGERS IS NOT THE SAME AS HAVING YOUR FRIEND TAKE A PICTURE OF YOU AT CON.* WHY WERE WE NOT TOLD ABOUT THIS, OH, A FUCKING MONTH AGO WHEN WE STILL HAD THE OPTION OF GETTING A REFUND??

AND WHATEVER!! I'M A CRAZY IRRATIONAL WHORE, BUT I SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO BE A CRAZY IRRATIONAL WHORE A FUCKING MONTH AGO, AND REALIZED THAT NOBODY WANTS MY CRAZY ASS AROUND AND DECIDED NOT TO GO.

I'm so fucking disappointed. I've been crying since I read about it. The rest of my life in the fucking shitter right now and I was really hoping that I would be able to relax and recharge at Wincon.

*The people your friend shows that picture to are more likely to just smile and nod and say something like "You look like you had a good time." Anybody and their fucking dog can watch a fucking movie and the average joe, or even the average other fan out there is much more likely to go "Oh, no wonder these fat ugly crazies don't have lives."
A few nights ago I was sitting up with my brother and I saw a commercial for Las Vegas. (Tourism and such, you know the kind.) The narrator said, "Thinking is inversely proportional to fun... Thinking causes pain." I screamed. My brother looked up from the computer and demanded to know if I had seen a rat or something. I yelled "FREEDOM IS SLAVERY!!" and pulled out my hair. Alejandro was confused, I explained the ad to him. He also pulled out his hair. Humanity is doomed.
I just totally bombed on the second exam in one of my classes. (I bombed on the first one as well.) And by "bombed" I mean there were essay questions involved, we're given, like, five pages to write our answer on, so he expects five pages, right? And I wrote, "I apologize, but I am unprepared to answer this question." On the bright side, it's my fuckfaced anti-semitic [fingerquotes] teacher [/fingerquotes] we're talking about here, and it's his fault I was unprepared this time. On our syllabus, the exam is scheduled for next Monday. I pointed this out, he said "Oh, yeah, sorry," and stared at me expectantly.

Coddle me, flist. Show me pictures of pretty things, tell me it was all that nasty ode pwofessuhs fault, and rec/give me some good jazz music. Plz.
Isn't it amusing how the horrible, shitty professors always think that college students just don't go to class? Like, in general? Because of course, you've just had classes full of slackers your entire career. It couldn't be your truly unbelievably condescending attitude towards, um, everyone, or your recitation of dates and names with no explanation as to why they are relevant to the subject, or the heinous little chuckle you give every student who asks you a question, or your repeated references to "big hook-nosed Jews" or anything. Clearly, young ppl these days are just lazy.
Ways to Inspire Murderous Thoughts


1) If you are a male over the age of ten, throw things at me and snatch things back as a reach for them. Then giggle as if the previous action makes you the most adorable thing to hit the market since the sleepy biscuit kitty.

2) If you are a professor, begin your class with a diatribe on how incomparably difficult your class is. This has the double whammy effect of setting me and the rest of your students up for failure, and causing personal offense because you don't know me. For all you know, I've scaled Everest while 8 months pregnant, or navigated the entire Nile river using only a matchbook and volume C of the Encyclopedia Britannica. Or survived a nervous breakdown caused by exhaustion and malnutrition, the deaths of three members of my immediate family, and four suicide attempts. You know, hard stuff.

3) Call Reese's Pieces "Reese-eez Piece-eez."
Plumie totaled her car on her way home from work. Nobody's hurt, she crashed into a rock while she was changing the radio station.

New part of Break Loose Ranch is up, which is very LKASNDFOAWEIURNA33NJIYEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS!!! But Alejandro keeps getting bored and wandering in to talk to me right in the middle of the sex scenes.

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January 2012

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