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scarylullabiezGuys suck at picking girls up. And I am an unusual girl, so they rill rilly suck with me. Plus I have decided to try and be a more honest person, and in my chain reaction of thinking about honesty, I have composed:
How To Pick Up Arathain When You Don't Know Her
1) The first step of course is to make small talk. You should do this for s brief period of time, at the end of which if you have not thoroughly repulsed me by: saying “faggots,” or “spics/niggers/towel heads/other racial bullshit”, being nothing but negative about everything, talking about sex like it’s dirty/shameful/wrong/, telling me I am beautiful or giving me any vague compliment on my physical appearance, you can proceed to step 2. (Specific compliments are ok. If something physically tangible about me attracted you, say so. EX: “Your hair is awesome,” or something like that. If you can’t do so without it being something you wouldn’t say in front or your grandma or baby sister, then back away slowly, or don’t approach at all.)
2) When we get to the asking-for-my-number-lets-get-together sometime part, do whatever you want, but be advised, I don’t give my number to ppl I don’t know.
3) No matter how you phrase the question involved in step 2, the answer will be no. DO not take this personally. I am not dating right now. I will probably tell you this.
4) Do not ask me why I am not dating. If you are totally unable to control your curiosity, and ask me anyways, I will reply with either, “I have had enough,” or “I am way to fucked up to date ppl.”
5) Do not, under any circumstances, press me for further information.
6) Abandon the effort with graciousness.
If you obey the above commands, we will part in such a way that will leave me thinking good thoughts about you, whish is as far as anything with a penis can get with me at this point, in this time. Unless I am in heat/at war, in which case if you are attractive to me I will pounce on you before you get deeply into step 1.
How To Pick Up Arathain When You Don't Know Her
1) The first step of course is to make small talk. You should do this for s brief period of time, at the end of which if you have not thoroughly repulsed me by: saying “faggots,” or “spics/niggers/towel heads/other racial bullshit”, being nothing but negative about everything, talking about sex like it’s dirty/shameful/wrong/, telling me I am beautiful or giving me any vague compliment on my physical appearance, you can proceed to step 2. (Specific compliments are ok. If something physically tangible about me attracted you, say so. EX: “Your hair is awesome,” or something like that. If you can’t do so without it being something you wouldn’t say in front or your grandma or baby sister, then back away slowly, or don’t approach at all.)
2) When we get to the asking-for-my-number-lets-get-together sometime part, do whatever you want, but be advised, I don’t give my number to ppl I don’t know.
3) No matter how you phrase the question involved in step 2, the answer will be no. DO not take this personally. I am not dating right now. I will probably tell you this.
4) Do not ask me why I am not dating. If you are totally unable to control your curiosity, and ask me anyways, I will reply with either, “I have had enough,” or “I am way to fucked up to date ppl.”
5) Do not, under any circumstances, press me for further information.
6) Abandon the effort with graciousness.
If you obey the above commands, we will part in such a way that will leave me thinking good thoughts about you, whish is as far as anything with a penis can get with me at this point, in this time. Unless I am in heat/at war, in which case if you are attractive to me I will pounce on you before you get deeply into step 1.
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Date: 2005-04-21 04:15 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-21 10:27 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-21 10:28 pm (UTC)